Lactose Sabatoge

I just want to throw a hypothetical situation out there. This is in no way true. I swear to the untruthfullness of what you are about to read.

A young man named Tyson went to the store. While at the store, he purchased some foodstuffs including a gallon of milk. Now, milk was a top-notch choice. He could use it on cereal, he could dip cookies in it, hell, he could even drink straight out of the jug to quench his thirst. Milk was just what he needed.

Sadly, there were people out there who wanted to see Tyson unhappy, so they devised a plan that would strip any giddiness from his already pathetic soul. These evil-doers knew that if they could compromise Tyson's 2% goodness, they could compromise his prosperity. So, cunningly, these deviants swooped down upon his milk and drained it like wraiths in the night.

Tyson returned home from his promiscuous activities with the one known as Desperado, only to find that his milk rations had considerably lowered. "Who has been stealing my precious milk, the only key to my happiness?" wondered Tyson to himself. Then, he realized that he was the victim of an elaborate assassination attempt on his joy. So he knew that the only way to escape from the sights of those shadow assassins was to sabatoge his own milk. He knew that if he were to set a trap where no one would expect it, he would be able discover the identities of those who were out to betray him.

So in short, Tyson put salt in his milk so that nobody could drink it. If he couldn't partake of the nectar of the udder, then nobody would be able to. If you didn't catch it the first time, he actually put SALT in his OWN MILK just to prove a point...I mean honestly are you serious...good one Tyson.