Gourdacious Adventure

On a cold dark winter night, three men became even manlier. The winds were blowing and the snow was deep, at least it was still deep where the snow plows had made those huge piles. These three men decided to set out on an adventure that would shake them to the very core. Would they be able to accomplish what they had set out to do, or would they be stopped by armies of snowmen?

Approximately at 12:00am these hardened thrill-seekers agreed upon starting a quest that many a man had failed. The quest to abolish Jabba the Pumpkin and his snow man hoard. It took many minutes of night time driving through mostly residential neighborhoods for them to arrive to the land of the Snowman. Oftentimes false alarms would cause them to leave their vehicle and wreak havoc upon what they thought to be members of Jabba the Pumpkin's Hoard. Unfortunatey, most of the times, they ended up being innocent bystanders. But these thrill seekers were willing to do what ever was required to stop Jabba and his minions. Even if it meant killing innocent snow structures.

Finally after a long and arduous quest, these three barbarians happened upon what seemed to be a friendly gathering of Jabba's Hoard. Unbeknownst to them, the three warriors were ready to set up a sneak attack in order to neutralize the deadly threat.

There were 12 of them, all lined up in a row. It appeared that they were involved in some sick kind of line dance or something. The three brawny soldiers knew that if they were to overtake the Hoard, this was to be their only chance. So stealthily, like panthers in the night, they settled upon the line dancing snow army and proceeded to dismantle them, limb by limb. When all of the hoard had been taken out, Jabba the Pumpkin was left to fend for himself. Just when Jabba was in their grasp, Andre the Snow Spire emerged from the darkness and challenged Willie the wildebeest. Although it would seem that Willie was outmanned, he was able to stop him with powerful pelvic thrusts. Jabba was left without protection and being the coward that he was, he surrendered and the three young mountain adventurers imprisoned him in the lowest level of the oldest dungeon. America salutes you for keeping them safe.